NOw I dont get too many weekends and with my current lack of employment- hoping ot remedy that soon- I am trying to stay on budget and also have some single- girl time. This Saturday I went out with my friend and we were able to avoid the hotel issue by staying with her brother and his wife.
The reason this is even important is (other than the entire day to recover) is that it is hard to watch someone who does not appear to be happy in their marriage. Maybe once you've been down that road and you have th eability to look back things that perhaps were once overlooked become glaringly obvious. Things that people don't often notice- but a lack of touching or heck even polite conversation, or ANY conversation is a pretty big key. It is painful to watch and yet- these two being virtually unknown by me, certainly wouldn't listen to what I have to say. There were some ackward moments, tense moments in the car, and some unsolicitated opinions offered. Some times, in my post divorce wisdom, I want to scream out "this is the small stuff- dont sweat this" b/c really so much is just about being "right" and not to beat a dead horse but Dr.Phil has nailed- would you rather be right or happy?
There is a beautiful thing to surrender that need for "right" to be able to duck under that wave and just ride it.
Often in my dealings with my MR.X I have had to learn to bite my tongue, take the high road, and basically just surrender to the lack of control I have over MOST of it. There are days when my anger gets the better of me and the vile taste of fear creeps in and I think I can't do this.. but then..some small little voice reminds me that I am doing it and mostly doing a good job.