Saturday, August 1, 2009
It's my Birthday!
Today was a great day. My little ladybug made me a gorgeous breakfast! She was so proud of herself too. I hope that the days of strife and my anger do not color their world too much. They have to discover some things by themselves. He can say what he wants to hurt me but he better be armed if he hurts them with his lack of planning and false hopes he has been giving them. I am struggling with the right balance as a buffer. Some days keeping it together is harder than others and today has been challenging. I never thought that at 36 I would feel like such a loser, divorced, unemployed and seemingly undesireable to hire, and without a plan that seems feasible. I want to be strong and brave and say haha I will show you but really...I dont think I have the energy. The anger is bubbling over the top and I dont know if I can keep it contained. I am just so damn angry and it seems unfair.I seriously dont even know where to turn to figure out how to turn this all around.